Its just getting good....

So the gloom and doom of my last post isn't the theme of this one....

So around 11ish weeks, Jackson took a turn for the better....Smiley, content, happy and easier to put down for naps, he has become quite a delight. I have started taking him to the chiropractor which has worked miracles before my eyes.....that, coupled with the magic number of "three months growing out of colic phase" and we are enjoying this.....finally. And I am sad.

Why?

Next Tuesday I start back to work....I finally am not on house arrest due to an unpredictable infant; able to actually grocery shop with Jackson by myself, and now I go back to work. This mothers heart hurts a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I need to go back to work right now....for insurance purposes, financial purposes....a decision for our family and that benefits Jackson.....and Jackson will be safe in the care of my mom (who is 5 min down the road from my work), so it isn't like I am having to leave him at daycare somewhere....but still, now he is fun and I am actually starting to love my roll as mother to him.  He responds to me. He smiles and laughs at me. He is soothed by me. And I love that. This is what I have waited and fought for for years. My sweet little guy is so. much. fun.

I am savoring these last few days with him...putting him down for naps....waking up in the morning and playing in bed just because we don't have to get up and go anywhere....Next week, life changes again...
at least for now...

I am praying for a sudden winning lottery ticket or a money tree sprouting up in our backyard...actually a job working from home or something part time with benefits would be fine too...
But for now, I watch my days dwindle away and anticipate this new journey of full time working mom that is about to slap me in the face.

so heres to sleep deprevation and lots of coffee!!!