To Brittney

Dear Brittney,

I did not know you in a personal way like a lot of people at church knew you. In fact, we have gone to church together for years and I will honestly say I know more about you than you personally. Until just a few days ago.

You read my blog.
You asked to be part of my challenge group in a few weeks. You wanted some accountability to get healthy. You asked for a few execptions and I said sure. I was excited. I heard your heart and wanted to help spur you on.

I began praying for you the minute you emailed me. daily. In fact, my last email with you was yesterday.

So the news of you suddenly meeting Jesus today struck me in a way I never saw coming. The brevity of life just slapped me in the face tangibly through our brief correspondence over the last few days and because of that, your life has forever impacted mine and I will never ever forget you.

You see, I have walked into church and sat beside many people for years. Never fully grasping that the person sitting beside me, the church staff member who is always there, the person I casually say hi too or send a smile their direction. We are all the same. We run through life thinking this is how it will be forever. But we are wrong.

Britney dear sister, you just won the ultimate challenge group. You are dancing before the throne of God with a whole and perfect body. One that does not get tired. One that does not break. No past baggage of emotions to deal with. You are free. Completely fully strong and whole and wonderful. And me? I am left this side of heaven working my butt off for little gains daily. And that makes me jealous. And it makes me long for heaven in a new way.

I longed to see Jesus with you today in a way that we all should on a daily basis. Thank you for that reminder. Our brief one week of emails after years of attending the same church together has now made a lasting impression on my life that I will always carry close to my heart.

So yeah, sister, you did it. You made it. You ran the race well and you left behind many who are so so sad that you are not here anymore. Many who knew you in deep and intimate ways I did not. You were woven into so many peoples lives. You left such a mark in just a few short twenty something years you were here. You left an impact.

You have left me longing for heaven. Longing for that complete wholeness.

Just know that for awhile, when I push play on my at home workout video I really will think of you. You sweet girl will push me now when I thought I was going to get to spur you on.  You make me want to live this life fuller and better and stronger. Making the most of my days because I don't know if it will be my last.

So go dance with Jesus. Eat at that banqueting table of non caloric food. Rejoice. You have completed the challenge group. And you won.

Come and join me friends!

So I was in Target shortly after New Year’s, and noticed the lovely display of bathing suits, namely skimpy two pieces, to my left as I hurriedly made my way back to the baby section for diapers. (Real life ladies, real life) It made me depressed yall. Post-Holiday blahs and just feeling yucky about my physical state all around, I wondered if I would ever be able to wear a bathing suit again without wanting to layer up a nice long, non-see through beach cover up over top of me.  #justkeepingitreal

You can read all about that in my last blog and see the journey I have decided to take as I walked in to 2015. Time for a change.

With that said, and with spring around the corner, and warm weather and sunshine forcing us to wear less and less….This spring I find myself excited because my clothes are starting to fit again and I have some things I haven’t worn in a long time I am looking forward to wearing again. I also have a new perspective and lifestyle that includes spiritual healthiness, emotional healthiness, and physical health. Weight loss has just been an added perk to this whole journey. Because of that, it is time for me to pay it forward.

I have seriously been a bit apprehensive about this as people automatically get ALL defensive on “you’re just trying to sell me something” or, nothing ever works that way…etc. And I am NOT here to argue. I hate debating anything. So if you are going to try and go there, sorry, I won’t.  I am not a creepy sales person. Yes this ‘challenge’ comes with a cost: money and time. And yes, this has totally worked for me and I seriously feel the Lord wanting me to do the same for others.

So here we go.

 If you are interested in joining me and a few other committed ladies to a 30 day challenge group involving accountability through prayer, health, fitness, and eating clean, please message me.

It’s about change. It’s about health: physical and spiritual and emotional. It’s about feeling better.

YES, you will have to make a few sacrifices of funds (aka money: you purchase a challenge pack that includes Shakeology meal replacement and a beach body program) and time (through a closed FB group that I will be daily coaching you on and will require a daily check in of some kind on there)

Rest assured, from my personal journey here and in this, it is the best investment I have made for myself in a long long time and I promise to commit to you as you commit to the 30 day group and the products. I have SUCH a passion to share with others all I have learned and am still learning through my own journey when I joined a challenge group in January.  I have been diligently mentored and coached and encouraged ever since. It’s ongoing. And now, I want to pay it forward to others. Because I believe in it.

This Challenge group start day will be Monday March 23 and spaces are limited. So message me, email me, text me…however you know to contact me and I will be happy to talk to you personally and send you more information. There are a few already so this is really going to happen. But I would love for more to join in the fun.

Heatherwaldorf1@gmail.com

 http://www.teambeachbody.com/heather0616

 

Welcome 2015....a New Year...a New me...come and see

Here we go…I’m going to be very vulnerable because I want to share my 'results' after these last 30 day…In fact, I NEED to share what God has been doing since the start of 2015 for me.

For those that want to hear it, read this. This isn’t a poor me story. It’s my life. And Where I have been.  And most ladies reading this will be able to understand the heart of where I am coming from in this if you have had a baby. I say most in that I am just not one of those women who was bounding out of the hospital in her buttoned up pre-pregnancy jeans glowing in the face with a flat belly.

In fact, and here comes honest nelly, 10 months post pardum, I am still wearing some maternity pants….because let’s face it, stretchy feels good and I just am….well was….struggling.

With that said, my body went through a lot in a ‘short’ three year span…I was pregnant 5 times…lots of tests, fertility drugs, progesterone supplements and two full healthy babies later my body finally went “SHEW GIRL! Thank you! I need a break!”

Now enter in two babies with colic, a full time job, one baby requiring lots and lots of medical attention and tests etc., trying to wear many hats as a mom and wife and church goer….well, my body and health took the very last row in my life.

What I wasn’t realizing at the time was that, my body and health needed to move to the front seat in order to be able to be healthy in all the other areas. But it wasn’t. And while I would put on a happy face on the outside, I was dying a little more each day on the inside.

Spiritually it was also draining me. God was there and I would talk to Him, but there was this wall of sorts I had put up. Resentment? I don’t know, just a numbness I can’t describe. And all my misery was slowly eeking out on my boys and my husband. I just was in a yucky place. And not being fair to my boys or my husband.

I have officially erased every family picture that was taken with me in it with the boys because I couldn’t stand to see how much weight I was still carrying. That wasn’t me. That couldn’t be me. I found I didn’t really look in the mirror much, only to put on makeup and fix my hair. Then I wouldn’t look. My closet was shrinking but I refused to go buy more clothes.

I didn’t want to see anyone or be seen by anyone. I was happy in my own little world of self-pity and this past December, really kind of hit a place where I just didn’t even want to do much outside our safe little house. I had been trying every diet pill, wrap, crash diet on the market with little to no success and getting more and more discouraged. I told myself this was the way it was going to be and who I was, suck it up.

In December however, a dear colleague/friend/coworker of mine at work began talking about how she was thinking of joining this challenge group thing in January using a meal replacement shake and workout program. Now this friend is thin. She is older. A breast cancer survivor. I thought at first, “Wait? But you don’t need to lose weight?”…but the more she talked the more I realized for her, it was about health. Everyone needs to be healthy. So I got it with her. It wasn’t just a weight thing. It was a, “I need health”. We all need it. And I knew that I would at least have her daily to do this with.

I was aware of the ‘cost’ and knew it was a bit pricey but told her to go ahead and pass my name on and I will talk with Michelle and see. I was desperate for help. I got the email from Michelle with several questions to answer the week before Christmas. I remember reading through them going, “I’ve got lots of answers to give you in a ‘poor me’ sob story I have no time  I work full time and have two babies two and under and every other excuse in the book blah blah blah…”

The week of New Year’s I answered her. Very honestly. Very very. I expected to get back an “Ah, I’m so sorry” response…but what I got was….”Yeah, me too. I have two active boys (About the same as mine),  I work full time (in fact she works more than one job), I’m a wife and a mom….and a pastor’s wife”…WHAT? Get out. Uhhh, ok. Guess I am not the only one who is busy?

Tail between my legs my jaw dropped. She literally gave me ‘NO OUT’….no excuses. But in a matter of fact very nice way. She got me. No poor you. But I’m here for you.  She frankly and very simply sent back to me, “Before we move on, can you commit to 25 min a day for 5 days a week of exercise?”

My initial response was NO. I just told you I have no margin. But I sat on it a min. and then an hour. Then a few hours. Till I realized, yes, yes I can do that. It is going to mean change in my routine and some sacrifice but yes. Ok. I can.

So I nervously said yes. Then she sent me the “Challenge pack” link and the cost. Again, I was expecting one number but this number came in a bit higher than I even expected. So I prayed. I said, “God? Should I do this?” to which he simply said “yes”. Sometimes folks, it is just that easy.

I talked to Wes about it and when I told him it was going to cost some money the only thing he said was, “Well, if you do that, and spend that, then you are going to DO that.” He is practical like that. And honestly now why I love that the price point of this product makes you stop and think. Anyone can drop a little bit. But this was a bit more than just a little bit. Not an amount you just waste.

Plus, it was only for a month right? I can do that.

So I bit the bullet. And said yes. *which, by the way, will always be a defining moment in my life*

So the process of the challenge group has been this:

 (1) Drink Shakeology. A protein, nutrient rich meal replacement shake once a day. I thought it would be hard to do. But it hasn’t been. In fact, it is my “crack shake” as I now refer to it. It will forever be part of my life. And I have done a lot of products out on the market. This has totally changed my life and rocked my world. And if you want something healthy and wholesome and are willing to feel good all the time, I’d love to talk more. I’m not going to try and sell you. Either you want it or you don’t. It isn’t a miracle drink. It isn’t going to magically fix your weight. You have to manage other areas of your life. But it is a great addition and something that is so so good for you. It has healed parts of me I didn’t know needed it. I wish I had found it several years ago but am glad it is in my life now. In fact, I can see the bottom of my first bag and my other shipment has not come in yet and I am freaking out a bit. Crack shake I tell you. *HA!*

(2) Eat Clean. What? Aint nobody got time for that. I am a working mama. The microwave and take out are my friends. Ha ha ha ha….What I didn’t realize that eating clean (I shoot for the 80/20 eat clean rule because life happens….and so do hamburgers and fries) is actually easier…I just have to plan. And if it isn’t something that I am actually a planner as my occupation… J So that part, has come very naturally. And we have started spending less money on food. What? Again? Like eating healthier can be cheaper? And quicker? Again, ha ha ha ha…Looking back one month now I would have NEVER found myself at this place. AND, I am not an extremist in this. We still can't afford organic everything....but that doesn't mean you cant eat healthy.

(3) Work out. I purchased a beach body program. Shaun T T25. 25 min a day, 5 days a week. However, that was a trick. When my pack came I realized that one of those days he asks you to double up and on Sunday there is a stretch video…so technically it is 6 days a week. But you know what? I DID indeed have 25 min a day to have Shaun T personally come into my home and kick my big fat booty. I say that to myself in the nicest way possible. I put one baby to bed, Wes has some daddy time with Jackson OR Jackson sits on the couch behind me watching the ipad while kicking my butt every time I go down for a squat… “mommy echersize” he says. I get the workout done, then have the rest of the night….and am about 100% more efficient at getting things done than I used to be in the evenings. WHAT? Get out. AND now Wes and I are doing it together. Meaning. While I bathe the boys most nights, Wes gets his time on his bike or the elliptical…Its becoming a big fat family affair of “Echercise”. And exercise is like a drug…it feeds your body and gives you energy. Wes and I both feeling that.

(4) My FB challenge group coach Michelle gives us videos every day and we have to ‘check in’ with pictures and posts every day….or she asks. And hunts. Just kidding. But really, the accountability from other ladies has been phenomenal. The spiritual aspect of this has been amazing. There are 5 ladies in our group. 4 I have never met and they live in other states...but we have formed such a bond through this...and pray for each other daily, encourage, push on…everyone is doing something different exercise wise for the most part…different video sets. These ladies have become a lifeline of help for me. I am not only changing physically through this, but I am realizing spiritually some things, areas where God needed to heal me and come to the front seat again of my life. Spiritual health and physical heath are connected. Very much so.

This has changed me. Is changing me. It is part of us now. A habit.

This week we are at the end of our 30 day small group and about to graduate to another group for another 30 days. This is about life change. This is about work. This is about getting healthy more so than just losing weight to feel good about yourself. I have only lost about 5-6 total true lbs. And several inches. But I can once again wear my wedding bands, my clothes are starting to fit again, and I feel amazing. I like the changes I am seeing in my body.  However, I am not monitoring this journey by the scale. Or the mirror. But by my heart condition with God #1 and my physical condition #2. I am on a journey of health. Not weight loss. There is a big difference. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I am not on a diet.  I am not taking magic pills. I am drinking a great supplement that feeds my body what it needs....but overall, this is my new lifestyle.

Again, I have a long way to go. I’m just 30 days in. But I’ve made it 30 days. 21 is when a ‘habit’ forms so we are in the habit of things now. Yes there are days when I come home dog tired and do not want to go work out. I’m still human. And learning that this process also means listening to your body. And adjusting when necessary. And that is ok. Each day presents a new set of victories and challenges.

I've had a few people ask and if you want to continue to join me in this journey I might consider a small challenge/encouragement group of my own. But I’m only going to do it with you if you want to. I’m not going to try and convince you of anything. You have to want it for yourself and work hard and make a few sacrifices. I’m not trying to sell anything for anyone. If you want some intense coaching I would be happy to put you in touch with Michelle. I just want to share the health. Feel free to reach out to me. I am in no way a 'professional' but I can encourage you. Because this is the first time in my life I feel like I get the whole picture of what health looks like.

So there you have it. Welcome 2015. A new year for us all.  

Levi's MRI and Results

Just wanted to give an update for those wondering the outcome of Levi’s MRI back in December as I have had many people ask me.

Honestly, we didn’t really know anything until yesterday.

Let me start by saying the MRI was an experience. Levi did great but it was a LOOOONNNNG day.

Our adventure started as we journeyed down to Duke on Thursday and it appeared Levi had caught a cold and was sneezing, fussy, runny nose, cough…ect. They told me if he was sick and running a fever we would have to re-schedule because of him having to be put under. Before we got too far down the road I called Duke and told them what was going on. The nurse told me as long as there was no fever we were ok. And there wasn’t. So we continued.

However, Jackson decided to wake up with a blazing fever at 2am. He woke up crying for water so he began to guzzle, then I pumped some Tylenol in him, and well….bad combo led to him puking all over me. Needless to say after changing, stripping him down, and a pretty much sleepless night we woke to a coughing, stuffy baby and a feverish big brother. Nice combo for a long day at the hospital. Stuff like this always seems to happen when we aren’t at home!

We questioned calling them and re-scheduling and heading for home but decided to just go in and see what they say. Meanwhile we kept Jackson on a regular rotation of Motrin and Tylenol which kept his fever down. I have to say he was a TROOPER for all of this. I am not one of those moms that will take my kid anywhere when they are sick so this was NOT my norm…but we had no choice.

The Duke Children’s hospital is pretty spectacular and there were so many cool things to look at and see that I believe that helped him survive the day. We also took him and got him whatever snacks, drinks, food items…ect he wanted while Levi was in the MRI so he loved having our attention to himself.  

 

I am SO impressed at the care we received from the nurses to the doctor who was educated to know that Levi didn’t just have a ‘bad rash’. (Some of the doctors here aren’t so knowledgeable about Levi’s port wine stain) They were all truly concerned and knew why we were there and what they were looking for. Wes kept saying it is the difference between being at a “For profit” hospital system vs and “Educational” hospital system. Amen. Truly top notch!

Levi is a trooper. The nurse gave him some baby “valium” before they were to place the IV in to help relax him. That stuff made him so drunk and gave us lots of laughs before the moment I dreaded the most through the whole process. Jackson had Levi belly giggling a lot just by looking at him. The doctor listening to him with the stethoscope cracked him up. It was hilarious.

Unfortunately, the valium only helped to make him less wiggly as Levi has mommy’s poor veins and the IV experience was something I hope I don’t have to relive for a long time. Two nurses and me holding him down screaming before we got it in. I almost shouted “Hallelujah!” when she finally got the vein. I’m not ashamed to admit I shed a few tears myself in the process. They had to stick him several times and went from the foot to the arm before they found a good one. They wrapped his arm up as if he had broken every bone in it to prevent him from pulling it out. I then had to sit there and hold him for the longest 20 min of my life before they administered the drug to knock him out.

Finally, the drug kicked in, he settled off to a nice sleep and they wheeled him down the hall for what we were told would be about an hour and ½.

The reality was: total MRI time ended up taking 3 hours. It was thorough and because of all the pictures they were ordered to get (per our doc) and it being opposing limbs it took some moving the machine around ect. It ended up taking a lot longer than they anticipated.  We were told he also woke up twice during the MRI. So they had to give him more meds to knock him back out which took some time. The second time it happened was unfortunately just 10min before the test was over so needless to say he was taking a nice nap when they wheeled him back to us. We weren’t going to be able to leave until he was awake and could keep a bottle down. Like I said, it was a LOOOONNNGG day. Jackson kept going up to the side of Levi’s bed saying, “Wake up y, wake up!”…Poor kid had taken naps on our lap, was still feverish and not feeling well, and wanted out of there as much as we did.

Levi had been ‘fasting’ from 3am that morning and around 2:30ish when he began to stir, the nurse gave me some pedialite and told me to mix it with apple juice to try before his bottle to see if he could keep it down. With his eyes still closed, he grabbed hold of that bottle white knuckled as if he was going to eat the nipple right off. He sucked that baby down in about 5 min. And kept it down. 10 min later she told me to try formula. And baby, that boy was HUNGRY! He had a death grip on my hand.

He still had a hard time keeping his eyes open however he had successfully kept down food so they let us go…he was drunk for a bit but overall, he did SO good. Better than I thought. I was so so glad to be walking out of there that day and that the test was over.

Now, for the results.

Just before Christmas our doctor called me and told me she looked at the MRI and was baffled. No vascular issues at all. Nothing strange going on with the veins.ect. She said while it was good news it was also not good news because she couldn’t give us any answers. She wanted to present him to her vascular team in Jan and get some other eyes looking at the MRI and would call us back then.

Yesterday I got that call.

Basically the long and short of it is this. They all defiantly agreed that there was something going on in the hand and foot more than just chubby baby hands and feet. (That made ME feel good to know it wasn’t just me imagining things)

The radiologist is suggesting it is something called Lymphedema and something is going on with his Lymph system and not his vascular system. The MRI showed the issue is more prevalent in his foot more than his hand which shocked me because I think his hand, and one finger in particular, look worse….but…no.

She said per their discussion it may be the start of something called “overgrowth syndrome” and we need to watch for signs of one foot growing larger than the other…etc. Something that is connected with the KTS syndrome or a few others that they told us about that is associated with Port wine stains from the start. However she said she can’t give a diagnosis of any of them as his case isn’t severe enough right now to justify that but something she is going to keep in the back of her mind as we continue watching him.

She confessed as a physician she wanted a clearer answer or diagnosis to give us because then we can know and help to ‘fix’ that. But the best she could say for him was we continue to watch and wait.  Unless it worsens a lot, we will be seen by her every 6 months to continue to evaluate him as he grows. As he grows it will be easier to determine what is going on or the path of any type of diagnosis that may come. In any case she doesn’t feel like if he were to get a diagnosis in the future, his KTS would not be severe as he is SOOOO healthy otherwise now.

We are going to have to wear a compression sock on his foot to help keep the swelling at bay because a constant buildup of fluid can cause infection. The compression should do the trick to keep the swelling down. If his hand worsens any more she will prescribe us a glove but she felt like the compression was a definite need for his foot right now. Especially because he is trying to walk and upright about 80% of the time now.

So, no real answers. A few very very educated ‘guesses’ as to what is going on but all in all….only God knows. A true test as parents to just rest in Him where Levi is concerned and that we just take it one day at a time.

Being at Duke and seeing a lot of kids being wheeled by missing their hair from cancer treatments, hearing about MRI’s being done to look for tumors and other life threatening things, Levi’s issues seem so miniscule in comparison. We realize what a blessing it is that we aren’t dealing with anything so life altering for him. He was born so special and uniquely and this is just who he is. This is just what we have to do for him as his parents. And he was entrusted to us to take the best care possible for him that we can. So we do that. And we trust that God has it all under His total control. Just as God ‘fights’ for us, we will ‘fight’ for him as we watch him grow. He is so healthy otherwise so while there is concern in my heart, it doesn’t scare me.  It’s just something that is and we listen to the advice of the doctors and pray for wisdom as to what we need to do for him as his parents. That’s all we can do.

Thanks so much for your concerns and questions. We are so blessed with so much support from family AND friends that truly care about us and our little family. It is a gift.   A gift that not everyone has the pleasure of having.

So thank you.

**Oh and…after 5 days of Jacksons fever and dragging him to GA for a family holiday weekend after our Duke day …I took him to our doctor that next Monday…turns out the poor kid had a mono like virus. We just had his bloodwork re-done this week and all is back to normal but looking back at all we did and expecting all we did out of him, man…he is a trooper!  (and I feel like a bad mama for dragging him around!)