First trip to Bass Pro...his new FAVORITE place!
Great and fun in the sense that we were able to make it to
GA to be with Wes’s family….long time overdue for his side of the family. Lots
of little ones…lots of food…lots of noise…lots of presents. Yes, Thanksgiving
was more of a marathon day of Food in the morning, tree decorating in the
afternoon, Christmas in the evening, and campfire/smores come nightfall. It was
crazy and fun. Loud and overwhelming at times. Exhausting, but totally worth
it!
BEFORE
AFTER!
Hard and interesting in the sense that Jackson was starting
a 4 month growth spurt (which I will embark on in the next min) making him all
out of whack sleeping/fussy/eating wise to begin with. Pair that with his first
sinus cold and well….Wes and I had loads of fun; especially at night. Trying to keep a baby who is struggling to
sleep with a stuffy nose from crying in the middle of the night and waking up
the other people and kiddos in the house is hard to do. Lots of steam baths in
the wee early morning hours. I don’t think I had two consecutive hours of sleep
in about two weeks ….feel a bit like the walking dead at the moment. And because he wasn’t sleeping well, he was
not very ‘nice’ during the day and extremely mommy needy most of the time.
Let’s just say I learned a thing or two about an overstimulated, sleep
deprived, not feeling good infant this last week!
Needless to say Wes and I made the decision to head back
home earlier than expected because Jackson seemed to be getting worse and we
just needed to be home. He needed his rest. And we needed to catch our breath
before going back to work. Or try to.
It was a good decision. Sunday Jackson napped like a champ
and was much more relaxed in his own setting, but the stuffy nosed fussy baby
wasn’t getting better health wise…SO, First thing Monday I called to take him
in to the doctor. First time mama here with not much experience in the infant
sickness dept. I figured almost a week of symptoms though, warranted a visit to
the pediatrician to rule out ear infection. 
Coming home from the doc...
The good news? Clear chest and clear ears. The bad news?
Clear chest and clear ears. Meaning: it just has to run its course. We have
been doing everything right and we just need to wait it out.
Ugh. Ok.
We were doing so good in the sleep dept before all of this.
Waking once a night. Eating, going right back to sleep. I was getting ‘caught
up’ on my rest. And then, just like that, sleep was all over the place again.
Curious if there was anything I was ‘doing wrong’ or could
be doing better, I googled ‘4 month baby…’ and these words magically appeared
on their own…’sleep regression’. Oh, hmmm. So it isn’t just me?
Zillions of websites, message boards, pages….on the glorious
4 month ‘change’. *lightbulb*. Everything I was reading was like someone had
crawled into our life the last few weeks and documented Jacksons sleeping
patterns (or lack thereof) action for action.
Turns out he is growing. And changing. And his little brain
is developing new skills at such a fast rate that his mind just won’t shut off;
and night time sleep gets horribly disrupted during this stage…Gosh, I know how
that feels sometimes. Not the brain development stuff but my thoughts not
turning off causing me restless nights. So in a sense, I can sympathize. And
all that newness, coupled with new people and new surroundings, and a
cold…well, I realized that it may be a few weeks before we are ‘normalized’
again.
*Gosh this baby stuff is hard sometimes!*
Honestly, I was beginning to feel like I was failing as a
mom as much as I have seen him regress in the sleep dept. the last few weeks.
As if there was something I was doing wrong. You see, as a mom, especially a NEW mom, I get
a lot of advice on what I should and/or shouldn’t be doing with Jackson. “Don’t
hold him too much or you’ll spoil him”, “don’t rock him to sleep”, “feed him
solids”, “Don’t feed him solids”, “just let him cry”…etc. But these last few
weeks have reminded me that amidst all the well-meaning advice on what others
did for their kiddos and what worked, God has placed in me the skills needed to
take care of Jackson the best. He has entrusted him to Wes and I and knows that
we have what it takes (with His help of course!) to make decisions for
Jackson’s well-being. Sleep included. I just need to trust my God given
mothering instincts sometimes and listen to Him more and others less.
My mother’s gut for him remains. I have my own theories and opinion’s
about certain styles and ways to take care of a baby. What works for some may
not work for others. Each child is different. I respect everyone who is a
successful parent no matter what “method” or “style of parenting” they have
used. I have seen amazing parents who schedule their babies from day one and I
have seen amazing parents who have no schedule for their kids at all. And I
have seen good and bad results come from both. God has blessed us all with
brains to know what to do. And he also equips us with individual parenting
skills for our children. I’m learning to trust mine. It’s hard to not play the ‘guilt’
game sometimes and feel like I am doing something wrong and will forever damage
my child because of it because I don't adopt one "method" soley. Grace needs to be given for each and every parent regardless. It is hard. And we need to spend more time encouraging each other through it.
I love that little guy more than I ever thought possible. I
actually even loved his clinginess to me this past week. He wanted me. And I
could soothe him. And to get baby snuggles is a precious thing. Especially in
the middle of the night. And yes, especially snuggled in-between Wes and I in
bed when he wasn’t feeling good. *GASP! * (Oh yes, he was in our bed…Sometimes
you just gotta do what you gotta do)
I know there will come a time when I will look back and desperately
want to be rocking my baby to sleep in the middle of the night again…just for
the closeness of it. So I am trying to remember in the midst of my sleep deprivation
to stop and enjoy this time. Relax. Take in. Breathe in the moments.
Last night we rounded a corner and I think a few things were
contributing factors:
1). When he woke up the first time, I made him finish a full
bottle. Jackson has only gained 1 pound since his last doctor’s visit at 2
months. I was shocked when they weighed him. I thought he weighed more. But
nope. The doctor said that his night waking is probably still legitimately from
hunger. Apparently he must have a super-fast burning metabolism. As much as he
moves, I don’t doubt he burns off his feedings quickly. The doctor said to keep
on feeding Him. So I did. And he went 4 hours after that. He is a generally
sleepy baby at night so when he wakes up and I try to feed him, he falls asleep
after an oz or two, and I had been letting him…I was reminded by the doctor
that I have got to make him finish the feeding no matter how tired I am! It
will make a difference. And it did!
2.) Routine is back. His own room is back. His crib. He is
settled again. When we got home Sunday night, he just kept turning his head
back and forth back and forth looking around. It was as if he was going, “Ahhh”
“Thank you mommy”…
3.) Back to the Chiropractor we went on Tuesday. Literally overnight,
after one adjustment, I noticed Jackson settling. I can feel it in his posture.
And his cold immediately started to clear up. (My mom noticed it too. She keeps
him all day so she would know) He goes again today. I am a TOTAL fan of
chiropractic for babies. Seriously. A soap box I will always jump on. I have
seen such vast improvements immediately upon receiving treatments with him. We
will go once a week through the end of the year and then hopefully only need
once a month. I’ll go without all kinds of things to be able to allow Jackson
to get to the chiropractor. Love that it is a drug free, natural way to bring
him physical comfort!
4.) Last and MOST importantly, Prayer.
As I was laying him back in his crib last night after the
first waking/feed, I looked at the verse printed over his wall and teared up.
I prayed for him. For this. There were moments before where
the middle of the night wakings were coming for me because of the pain of
miscarriage and my desires for a baby. Now, they are legitimately coming
because of the baby…the gift the Lord has given me. *Remember and be thankful*
I was challenged in my heart to pray over my little guy each
and every time he wakes at night. So as I laid him down I began to pray. I
asked God for rest for him. For no gas bubbles. For a clear nose. And for at
least a 4 hour stretch for mama.
Know what? Ask and ye shall receive. The Lord granted each
and every request. Not a fluke at all. Sometimes I believe God just wants us to
ask and trust HIM.
So we press on. One day/night at a time. Loving this
journey. It is the hardest thing I have ever done and the most rewarding. Can’t
imagine life without him in it. Looking forward to all the new journeys ahead
with him.
Next on the agenda? "My First Christmas!"
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